So here I am missing many days of posting, and it all comes down to the fact I don’t know what to post as the final entries.
The trip was for 11 days not 8, but three of those days I spent without really taking many photos, or sick in a room, so it wasn’t compelling writing. I didn’t count those days as parts of my trip. It’s funny but 2.5 days of my trip were spent in Non-japan transit, so yes, that is my confession, and I am sorry if my labeling of these things was a bit off. Mostly I got confused where one day’s photos ended and another’s began.
But then back to my main issue, the issue I have with trying to end this little adventure.
Their is a haunting conversation that goes on in my head when I am about to finish things, it goes like this.
“I am almost done! I am really happy with how this turned out.”
“yeah but now what?”
“what do you mean?”
“how do you top this? Grow your fan base? Get approval?”
Approval. I find myself more and more disgusted by the idea of it. or at least the search for it. Nonetheless, the feelings of ineptitude, and fraudulence creep in, and I leave the ends loose, because god forbid I have to start again.
Where do I go from here? I don’t know. I’d love to lie to myself and be positive, but Japan was a highlight in my life, and now I find myself doing little to nothing.
I am being overly harsh. Part of me knows this, part of me is still struggling with just getting up in the morning, and dealing with that annoying voice in my head that tells me I can’t do anything.
I want to finish, and I will. I just am not ready yet. But thanks for being there. Thank you for reading. If you have it to give, please leave me some support in the comments. I could use it. Thanks.